Just when you think you don’t miss something or someone it springs back up on you. Then you realize that as much as you thought you’d let go, as much as you thought it meant nothing…it still means the world to you. And losing it all over again hurts just as bad as it did the first time. 

So in essence, we never really get over things or let people go. We just bury them. And well, the shovel is never very far behind. Why? Because deep down we don’t want it to be. 

It has been said that we only need three things in life: something to do, something to look forward to, and someone to love. Sounds about right. 

True love cannot be found where it doesn’t exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does.

-Unknown

So of course there has been this craze for every one to create a list of things to do before they take their final breath. I couldn’t help but to do my own, but not just to join the hype. When I lost my mom in September 2008, I felt like she left before her time. I know it isn’t our decision to make but I always thought that there was so much more good she could have done to add to her list of already amazing things. So with that said I wanted to make a bucket list so no one I loved ever had to feel like I didn’t live my life to its fullest potential. So here it is. 

1. get a tattoo
2. graduate from college
3. be on ESPN
4. write a book
5. sing in front of a large crowd
6. go to a concert
7. take a photo in all 50 states
8. skydive
9. bungee jump
10. write and sing a sing a song to someone I like
11. give someone a car with a big bow on it
12. read poetry with maya angelou
13. kick a field goal
14. shoot an NBA 3-pointer
15. make a stranger laugh
16. say or write something to change someone’s life
17. smash an acoustic guitar
18. visit a celebrities grave
19. donate blood
20. meet my biological parents and relatives
21. draw/sketch something that someone would buy/frame
22. learn to fly a plane
23. have an ‘ah-ha’ moment with Oprah
24. learn to swim and jump off a waterfall
25. take a picture with a surfer
26. be in a boxing match
27. ride in a hot air balloon
28. kiss the floor at Freedom Hall
29. ask Rick Pitino a question
30. make a considerable donation to charity
31. fulfill a dream of my mom’s [buy a fixer-uper]
32. stand on the edge of a cliff and scream
33. give money/food to a homeless person
34. stand up in court and yell “objection”
35. have my writing published on ESPN.com
36. have my writing in the New York Times (or major publication)
37. speak at a rally
38. apologize with truth to all I remember hurting
39. kiss Zoé Saldana
40. ref a basketball game 
41. hold someone’s hand while they get a tattoo or piercing
42. have a celebrity follow me on Twitter
43. long board in California
44. surf in California
45. visit the Kennedy Space Center
46. go to Africa
47. zipline across a beautiful landscape
48. design (create) a piece of clothing
49. swim in the ocean
50. fill a passport
51. get my own place
52. move out of Kentucky
53. randomly give someone a gift
54. attend a major sporting event
55. throw a huge party
56. swim with a dolphin
57. learn to speak a foreign language and use it
58. be an extra in a film
59. tell someone the story of my life, sparing no details
60. give my mom a dozen roses and tell her I love her
61. be an audience member of a TV show
62. send a message in a bottle
63. get to know a set of my neighbors
64. write a fan letter
65. visit D.C. (White House, Senate, House of Representatives)
66. be the boss
67. fall deeply in love — helplessly and unconditionally
68. write a novel
69. be someone’s mentor
70. teach someone to read
71. create, write down, and follow a personal mission statement
72. get passionate about a cause and spend time with it 
73. sleep under the stars
74. ride the highest roller coaster in the U.S.
75. learn to juggle three balls
76. forgive myself
77. overcome my fear of failure/rejection
78. start and maintain a garden
79. spend 3 consecutive months getting in shape
80. see a broadway show in its original theatre
81. visit Australia
82. drive a convertible, top down — music loud
83. bet money in Vegas
84. kiss the blarney stone (gift of gab) in Ireland
85. go to the top of the Statue of Liberty
86. create my own website
87. make love all around my house
88. learn to bar tend
89. make my greatest weakness my biggest strength
90. ride an elephant
91. climb a mountain
92. save money for something I want
93. watch a shooting star
94. teach a class
95. see a broadway show on broadway
96. plant a tree
97. create a photo album or professional quality photographs
98. meet someone from the original broadway and/or movie cast of RENT 
99. visit a real blues bar in Chicago
100. Oktoberfest anyone?
101. stay up all night long and watch the sunrise
102. say ‘I love you’ and mean it with everything inside me
103. enjoy a moment where I laugh so hard I cry, end up in pain, or pee my pants
104. play in the rain
105. play carelessly in the snow
106. learn to DJ
107. see a broadway play off broadway
108. kiss in the rain
109. call an old friend

there will be more to cross off and more to add. it’s life and well…you can’t live it up enough.

As you grow older you’ll find the only things you’ll regret are the things you didn’t do.

-Zachary Scott

some people believe that there is just one moment in life where you can capture everything and nothing all at the same time. you know that moment where you either “grab life by the horns” or “let it pass you by.” see, the more I think about it I’m not sure what I believe. I mean it’s true there have been plenty of moments for me that I look back on and say “man I should have taken that step, given a little more, said a little less, etc” but who is to say that the same exact moment - well not exactly the same but close - won’t come tomorrow? or the next day?

as I inch closer to my first full month of my 21st year of life there are plenty of things I wish I would have taken advantage of. as ready as I am to graduate from college and move on to my next goal in life I still wish I would have lived a little looser, laughed a little harder, smile a little wider, cried with more conviction, cared a little deeper.

now as I sit here and watch people around me (even those who once held me back) keep moving and doing amazing things I feel this sense of frustration build inside me. then I step back and realize that though I have wasted time, there is still much time to be gobbled up by my moments of complete chaos and utter bliss.  

I am close to a breakthrough. I feel it coming. As I search for my purpose I realize I don’t need anything or anyone to define me. I am me. From this day forward, I will take that step, give a little more, say a little less, live a little looser, laugh a little harder, smile a little wider, cry with more conviction, care a little deeper, and last but not least I will scream until the whole world hears. literally and figuratively. it’s the only way to live. 

lesson learned: nobody gets to live life backward. look ahead, this is where your future lies. - ann landers

it’s not the length of life, but depth of life. - ralph waldo emerson

something about this photo makes me smile. the memories behind it don’t do it for me so much. i think maybe there’s a different meaning. 

lesson learned: i don’t miss her. i miss who i thought she was. 

oh, the twists and turns of life. life has been throwing curves - certainly hasn’t been boring. it just proves that you never really know what’s around the next corner.

lesson learned: one day your life will flash before your eyes. make sure it’s worth watching. 

growing up I was taught to always be there for someone who I cared about. at all costs. it seems that very few people were raised with this same thought process. loyalty in friendship is something that should never waiver but too many times it does.

lesson learned: Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life.

popculturebrain:

WTH is this. They can’t just do that. Can they? 62 years, people! This is the kind of thing that needs to be grandfathered in by generation, there’s no way people are going to just up and change the way they play. Bull cocky.

In related news, Rooks can move diagonally now in chess.

it’s the most random moments that can change the course of your entire day. 

sometimes you just need a good laugh. 

lesson learned: serendipity is life. 

someone once told me that we’re never confused, but just moving so quickly that we aren’t taking time to think. so today I stopped to think and though I don’t necessarily like what I’m figuring out, it’s good to know this works. confusion. confusion. so overrated. 

lesson learned: stop putting questions marks where God has already put periods.